Sunday, November 20, 2016

My Year Of Grief: From Tears to Gratitude

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." - Khalil Gibran

This Thanksgiving will be unlike any before, Dr Beasley, my mentor will not be here asking when the pies will be ready, Peaches his beloved dog will not be barking telling me the turkey is done, my precious dog Hope will not be here to jump on top of the table to try to steal the turkey and our son, David will not be visiting talking about the latest book he read. As those of you that follow me on this blog or social media already know all these beloved members of our family have died this last year. This is why I refer to it as, "My Year Of Grief".

While each death might have been different in its grieving process, each one had one thing in common, they all triggered my emotional eating. Dr Beasley's death sent me to find comfort in Double Chocolate Milano Cookies, Hope's death drove me to boxes of Devil Dogs, Peaches' death lead me to making & eating muffins, and my son's David's death found me climbing in bed with Ben & Jerry's not wanting to ever get out of bed again.

What does a health coach do to help heal the grieving health coach? She treats herself like she would a client, with compassion & kindness while making a commitment to self care and accountability. I acknowledged each craving without self judgment while dissecting the craving, I made a commitment to 90/10 eating and home cook meals even when I didn't feel like it as I knew that it was important to my health as well as the health of my family. I required myself to get out of bed when at times all I wanted was to stay under the covers and snuggle with the cat. I made time to pray, meditate, and take long walks as I knew that not only was it important to my one surviving dog but also it was part of my self care regime. And most of all I made a commitment to continue on with school as I knew it was important to not only my future clients but myself as at IIN, I had found "my tribe".

You see, finding my tribe at IIN, helped me to go from tears to gratitude and as I healed my cravings subsided. The more I focused on my modules at school, watching the lectures, reading the texts, participating in the Facebook classroom, reaching out to fellow health coaches in my class and lastly but most important attending coaching circle provided the support I needed to put one foot in front of the other and go on.

What I know now is the death of a loved one is not something you ever "get over" but you do learn to live with it and find the courage to go on. I know that there will still be tears but now the grief is mixed with gratitude for the fact that those I lost were once a part of my life.

This Thanksgiving, give thanks for all those that have left footprints on our hearts but can no longer be at our tables in person. Be mindful that for some of us, we will be missing those that we have lost and be there for them so they too can find their tribe.

May Your Thanksgiving Be One Of Health and Happiness,

Mary P. Cheney

Health Coach


  1. Mary - I cannot even imagine this much loss and grief. My heart goes out to you. What a beautiful blog post. May this Thanksgiving be blessed with such abundant love from all who remain here with you. And may your heart overflow with sweet memories from those who enriched your life in such unforgettable and tangible ways; forever etched upon your heart and soul.

    1. Michele- Thank you so much for the kind words. I just discovered that you left a comment on the blog or I would had answered sooner. We got through it, I baked and cleaned as my husband cooked. I think keeping busy and being with loved ones is just what we needed.

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